The U.S. Army parachute team ‘The Golden Knights’ landed at a Texas Rangers game yesterday, but one of them got stuck on a flagpole, and had to cut himself down.  (Look for it about 1:10)

Hey I gave away tickets for this game.  If I had known some viral video would be filmed there I would have the kept the tickets for myself!  And yes…I am selfish!

Recently, scientists unveiled a VW bug that runs on human waste called the “Bio-Bug”, a name as crappy as the stuff it runs on.  So enjoy today’s list of the Top Suggested Names for the Car that Runs on Crap.

The Crap-illac Poop-de ville….perfect for those that can’t get to the early bird special fast enough, and when they’re done with the meal they can fill up they tank!

The Mini Pooper…great for college students on the go!  They should have no problem keeping the tank full since everyone knows they’re full of s*%#!

The TP Cruiser…this one is great for family vacations.  You won’t have to stop at any rest stops because someone is prairie dogging… just pull the TP Cruiser over on the side of the road, the kids get a bathroom break and you fill up all at the same time.  No more candy bars, bag of chips, sodas, or anything else the kids spy in the gas stations.  You’re saving money and the Planet…you must be superman!

Did someone just fart or is that the “new car” smell?

If having someone see your “coin slot” makes you uncomfortable, you’re in luck.

Introducing the “Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield.”  It’s an adhesive denim patch that attaches directly to your skin, and covers up your “plumber’s crack.”

The idea is to place the patch right at the top of your backside, so that when you bend over while you’re wearing low-rise jeans, the people behind you get a look at the fashionable patch, instead of your un-fashionable crack.

(–You can buy this nonsense for $15 here . . .)

http://shopbacktacularonline.com/

I have an idea….wear pants that fit, or here’s another option…wear a belt.  Think about the placement of that patch, and how much it’s going to hurt when removed.  It probably hurts like 1000 bandages being ripped off your skin in slow motion. If you don’t want pants that fit, wear a belt, or sport a patch, you can just be proud of your crack…just like every plumber EVER!  They were proud of their crack and really loved to show it off!

1) You can’t relate to any of the characters…because you were actually COOL in high school.

2) You’re Steve Perry and it pains you to hear what they did to “Don’t Stop Believin”

3) You hate when people sing in tune.  So you watch “American Idol” instead!

This family must have put in some long hours to put together this awesome Christmas light display.  They synched up their Christmas lights with their son’s “Guitar Hero” video game to create “Christmas Light Hero.”  It just gets better and better with each riff.

CBS is promoting the December 18th airing of the classic “Frosty the Snowman” and “Frosty Returns” cartoon specials with a bizarre online ad campaign.

They’re mashing “Frosty” clips with audio from two of their pg-13 sitcoms, “How I Met Your Mother”, and “Two and a Half Men”.  The slogan for the campaign is: “Some holiday classics are better left untouched.”

No one would have cared, except that CBS used some of the racier, more sexual dialogue from the shows, which makes “Frosty” slightly less kid-friendly.  Here’s the “How I Met Your Mother” version:

Wednesday, a photo appeared online taken by a birdwatcher in Scotland.  It’s a flock of Starlings that are flying together as a group, but the shape of the flock sort of resembles a hand that’s….well…flipping the bird.