The U.S. Army parachute team ‘The Golden Knights’ landed at a Texas Rangers game yesterday, but one of them got stuck on a flagpole, and had to cut himself down.  (Look for it about 1:10)

Hey I gave away tickets for this game.  If I had known some viral video would be filmed there I would have the kept the tickets for myself!  And yes…I am selfish!

Everyone knows that flying is more fun if you have a stiff drink or three.  But flight attendants aren’t bartenders, so if you want something more complicated than a rum and coke, you better know which ingredients to ask for.  So thanks to the wonderful people at “Esquire”, you can have a good stiff drink on a plane!  But remember don’t get too drunk or they’ll arrest you, and that’s just going to kill your buzz!

1) A Brandy, Rum, or Whiskey Sour:  You just need the liquor, the ice, a packet of sugar, and some lemon juice.  You can get that from the lemon wedges they use for hot tea.

2) A Tom Collins: You need gin, sugar, lemon juice, club soda, and ice, which are are available in the beverage cart.

3) A White Russian: Add two parts vodka and one part Kahlua to a cup of ice.  Then for the cream, either use milk or half-and-half.  The only dowside, assuming your flight even HAS Kahlua, is if there’s a two drink limit.  Because if the flight attendants are strict about it, they might not give you more than two little bottles of liquor during the flight.  And since a White Russian has vodka and Kahlua, you might have to use BOTH of your drinks to make one cocktail.

4) A Presbyterian:  The folks at “Esquire” say you should try this one first.  It’s equal parts Scotch and ginger ale over ice…and apparently it’s better than it sounds.

Recently, scientists unveiled a VW bug that runs on human waste called the “Bio-Bug”, a name as crappy as the stuff it runs on.  So enjoy today’s list of the Top Suggested Names for the Car that Runs on Crap.

The Crap-illac Poop-de ville….perfect for those that can’t get to the early bird special fast enough, and when they’re done with the meal they can fill up they tank!

The Mini Pooper…great for college students on the go!  They should have no problem keeping the tank full since everyone knows they’re full of s*%#!

The TP Cruiser…this one is great for family vacations.  You won’t have to stop at any rest stops because someone is prairie dogging… just pull the TP Cruiser over on the side of the road, the kids get a bathroom break and you fill up all at the same time.  No more candy bars, bag of chips, sodas, or anything else the kids spy in the gas stations.  You’re saving money and the Planet…you must be superman!

Did someone just fart or is that the “new car” smell?

On Tuesday, a Japanese baseball player named MASATO AKAMATSU . . . who plays for the “Hiroshima Carp” . . . made one of the best home-run-stealing catches of all time.  He actually jumped ON TOP OF THE WALL to make the grab.

Spiderman Style Baseball Catch - Watch more Sports

This begs the question…baseball player….or ninja? My vote…ninja in a baseball uniform!

This looks like it was staged, but last Friday at the Orange County State Fair in Costa Mesa, California, a local news reporter knocked over an ice sculpture.  And to add insult to injury, he did it right after the guy he was interviewing told him it took EIGHT HOURS to make.

The X-Games went down in Los Angeles last weekend, and now there’s a video online of some girl in the stands flashing an entire section of seats.  But don’t get TOO excited guys.  You don’t see anything in the video, you just see her back.

But it’s hilarious because there’s a 10-year-old boy standing right in front of her . . . and he goes NUTS.